As a Personal Speechwriter, I have written wedding vows, eulogies and everything in between.

I help clients connect with the people they love most by taking ideas out of their heads and creating an authentic, comedic and impactful way to share them with the world. I have worked with every kind of person - from CEOs of international companies to CPAs from Bloomington, Indiana, to celebrities to stay-at-home moms - and what I have found is that everyone has something to say and most people don't have a clue how to say it. That's where I come in.

Interestingly, most of the work I do as a writer is done through listening. I spend hours listening to clients - on phone calls and through their answers to customized questionnaires - in order to ensure that when I sit down to work with their ideas and memories, I am inhabiting their voice and making their speech as authentic as possible.

I've tried to explain my job at enough dinner parties to know just how skeptical people can be of having a stranger write something so personal as their Best Man speech or a birthday toast for their dear Uncle Albert. So, instead of trying to explain it I'll just show you some of the work I've done. I can't share whole speeches with you because I've written for some fancy people and I'm much too poor to be sued for violating my NDA but here are a few snippets. Enjoy! 

  "Sure, they have their differences. Pete is the guy that stops strangers on the street to pet their dog and the only dog Sydney likes is the one you can turn your face into on SnapChat. But I think the thing that binds them together is their love and their mutual respect...for Prince William and Kate Middleton. What are the odds that someone who loves the Royal Family as much as Sydney would fall in love with a man who stays up all night by himself just to watch the Royal Wedding?       "Tabrik eh faravan to my sister, new brother and family. I’m so glad to be here tonight with you all to celebrate Grace and Mike, and I feel very lucky to be allowed to stand up here and say a few words about the newlyweds. To be honest with you all, Grace really wanted their dog, Gary, to be the one to get up and speak, but I lucked out because he couldn’t nail the Farsi."       "But I’ve known Seth for a long time now, before the private planes and the Gucci shopping sprees, back when he was just a 9th-grade kid with JNCO jeans and a heart of gold. I’m sorry, did I say heart? I meant chain. He wore a gold chain with his JNCO jeans."       "Don’t be fooled by Nick’s bookish behavior though, he’s always paying attention to the world around him. I’ve never met anyone who was so completely fascinated by their fellow passengers on the subway. He’s so polite that he insists on making eye contact on the metro during the morning commute. There’s no telling how many Craigslist missed connections have been written about Nick by people who thought he was trying to send a subtle message."

"Sure, they have their differences. Pete is the guy that stops strangers on the street to pet their dog and the only dog Sydney likes is the one you can turn your face into on SnapChat. But I think the thing that binds them together is their love and their mutual respect...for Prince William and Kate Middleton. What are the odds that someone who loves the Royal Family as much as Sydney would fall in love with a man who stays up all night by himself just to watch the Royal Wedding?

 

"Tabrik eh faravan to my sister, new brother and family. I’m so glad to be here tonight with you all to celebrate Grace and Mike, and I feel very lucky to be allowed to stand up here and say a few words about the newlyweds. To be honest with you all, Grace really wanted their dog, Gary, to be the one to get up and speak, but I lucked out because he couldn’t nail the Farsi."

 

"But I’ve known Seth for a long time now, before the private planes and the Gucci shopping sprees, back when he was just a 9th-grade kid with JNCO jeans and a heart of gold. I’m sorry, did I say heart? I meant chain. He wore a gold chain with his JNCO jeans."

 

"Don’t be fooled by Nick’s bookish behavior though, he’s always paying attention to the world around him. I’ve never met anyone who was so completely fascinated by their fellow passengers on the subway. He’s so polite that he insists on making eye contact on the metro during the morning commute. There’s no telling how many Craigslist missed connections have been written about Nick by people who thought he was trying to send a subtle message."

  "As a matter of fact, I love everything about Virginia.     I love her enthusiasm for Real Madrid fútbol. I love that she’s a cutthroat entrepreneur who uses emojis like an eighth grader. I love that she wears barely any makeup on her face and cat covered pajamas to bed. And I absolutely love her puncakes. If you’ve never had Virginia’s special puncakes, I highly recommend them - they’re just like pancakes, but served with a spanish accent. They’re funtastic."       "I think that’s what makes him such a good dad...to our two cats - Jerry and Garcia. They couldn’t be here with us tonight but they did let me know that we could find their present for us in the litter box."       "I promise to always do my part to make our home as warm and welcoming as you find Target. I cannot guarantee that the shelves will be filled with as many snacks or that the back-to-school selection will be nearly as solid, but I will always do my part to make sure it is a place fully stocked with love and warmth and happiness. And, of course, your own shave gel in the bathroom and butterscotch pudding cups in the fridge."       "My most prized possession is a card you gave me three years ago for our anniversary. I’ve tucked it away in my sock drawer and I pull it out often to read, because somehow you managed to perfectly sum up everything that I have found to be true about love. Which I guess makes sense, since you’re the one who has taught me most of it."       "Our romance might have been book-ended by misunderstandings, but there was one moment of complete clarity for Lauren and me. And it happened right here. In May of 2012, we stood in this very city and said I love you for the first time. I don’t know that anything has made more sense in my life than those words at that moment."

"As a matter of fact, I love everything about Virginia.

I love her enthusiasm for Real Madrid fútbol. I love that she’s a cutthroat entrepreneur who uses emojis like an eighth grader. I love that she wears barely any makeup on her face and cat covered pajamas to bed. And I absolutely love her puncakes. If you’ve never had Virginia’s special puncakes, I highly recommend them - they’re just like pancakes, but served with a spanish accent. They’re funtastic."

 

"I think that’s what makes him such a good dad...to our two cats - Jerry and Garcia. They couldn’t be here with us tonight but they did let me know that we could find their present for us in the litter box."

 

"I promise to always do my part to make our home as warm and welcoming as you find Target. I cannot guarantee that the shelves will be filled with as many snacks or that the back-to-school selection will be nearly as solid, but I will always do my part to make sure it is a place fully stocked with love and warmth and happiness. And, of course, your own shave gel in the bathroom and butterscotch pudding cups in the fridge."

 

"My most prized possession is a card you gave me three years ago for our anniversary. I’ve tucked it away in my sock drawer and I pull it out often to read, because somehow you managed to perfectly sum up everything that I have found to be true about love. Which I guess makes sense, since you’re the one who has taught me most of it."

 

"Our romance might have been book-ended by misunderstandings, but there was one moment of complete clarity for Lauren and me. And it happened right here. In May of 2012, we stood in this very city and said I love you for the first time. I don’t know that anything has made more sense in my life than those words at that moment."

  "When Rob was just a little over 3 years old, he used to tell anyone visiting us that he was “the pride of the house.” Which is true, he was! He still is. Too bad he couldn’t have been the “cleanliness of the house” too because his room was always a complete disaster. I think I even caught his Carmen Electra poster covering her eyes from the mess once or twice, but I can’t be sure."       "Those car rides to school when Nicole was growing up might have been a little rushed and hectic, but the truth is that Nicole and I have spent some of our closest moments behind the wheel. When she was 5, we would drive hundreds of miles on summer road trips and talk the whole way, just like grown-ups. The night I had my heart attack, Nicole was home and she was the one that drove me to the hospital. And tonight, Nicole, it was my absolute honor to drive you down the aisle to the man who has promised to love and cherish you as well as love and cherish everyone around you. Your mom and I love you more than you will ever know.    As my dear friend, Tom Petty, once said, love is a long long road. Nicole and Will, I know you guys are going to make the most of the trip. Wishing you love and luck on the journey, can’t wait to see where it takes you."       "Caroline, there are no words for how much you mean to me, and how proud of you I am. Luckily, you’re more of a charades girl anyway so here you go:    *Point to eye*    *Make a heart*    *Point to Caroline*    Now, make sure you two say that to each other every single day."

"When Rob was just a little over 3 years old, he used to tell anyone visiting us that he was “the pride of the house.” Which is true, he was! He still is. Too bad he couldn’t have been the “cleanliness of the house” too because his room was always a complete disaster. I think I even caught his Carmen Electra poster covering her eyes from the mess once or twice, but I can’t be sure."

 

"Those car rides to school when Nicole was growing up might have been a little rushed and hectic, but the truth is that Nicole and I have spent some of our closest moments behind the wheel. When she was 5, we would drive hundreds of miles on summer road trips and talk the whole way, just like grown-ups. The night I had my heart attack, Nicole was home and she was the one that drove me to the hospital. And tonight, Nicole, it was my absolute honor to drive you down the aisle to the man who has promised to love and cherish you as well as love and cherish everyone around you. Your mom and I love you more than you will ever know.

As my dear friend, Tom Petty, once said, love is a long long road. Nicole and Will, I know you guys are going to make the most of the trip. Wishing you love and luck on the journey, can’t wait to see where it takes you."

 

"Caroline, there are no words for how much you mean to me, and how proud of you I am. Luckily, you’re more of a charades girl anyway so here you go:

*Point to eye*

*Make a heart*

*Point to Caroline*

Now, make sure you two say that to each other every single day."

  "I know I don’t have to tell you guys how much love Mom has poured into my life, you’ve all experienced it firsthand just like I have. But Mom, you’ll never know how much we have all learned from watching you. Watching you, we learned patience and gratitude and that family always comes first. Watching you we learned what love looks like.     It looks like driving cross-country to San Francisco on a day’s notice when Mika couldn't bear to put down her beloved dog, Sascha, alone. It looks like spending 7 hours on the same green route when I just couldn't quite master "French fry" and "pizza" out on the slopes. It looks like scuba trips with Dean and teaching us all how to properly fry an egg ( it's all about the butter). It looks like a loving mother and grandmother, a devoted wife and an excellent woman. And it looks damn good for 90."       "Randy may not have taught me how to write a eulogy - even if he had, there are no words that could truly capture the amount of life he fit into his time here on earth. What he did teach me was everything he knew about how to live life to it’s fullest - the secrets to seeing the world through the same lens he did. His glasses weren’t rose-tinted, they were bright crimson.     Today I have shared those secrets with you, and I encourage you to commit them to heart. Take them with you and live your life according to his wisdom, because I think if we all became even half the parent, spouse, colleague and friend that he was, this world truly would be as beautiful as he always believed it to be."

"I know I don’t have to tell you guys how much love Mom has poured into my life, you’ve all experienced it firsthand just like I have. But Mom, you’ll never know how much we have all learned from watching you. Watching you, we learned patience and gratitude and that family always comes first. Watching you we learned what love looks like.

It looks like driving cross-country to San Francisco on a day’s notice when Mika couldn't bear to put down her beloved dog, Sascha, alone. It looks like spending 7 hours on the same green route when I just couldn't quite master "French fry" and "pizza" out on the slopes. It looks like scuba trips with Dean and teaching us all how to properly fry an egg ( it's all about the butter). It looks like a loving mother and grandmother, a devoted wife and an excellent woman. And it looks damn good for 90."

 

"Randy may not have taught me how to write a eulogy - even if he had, there are no words that could truly capture the amount of life he fit into his time here on earth. What he did teach me was everything he knew about how to live life to it’s fullest - the secrets to seeing the world through the same lens he did. His glasses weren’t rose-tinted, they were bright crimson. 

Today I have shared those secrets with you, and I encourage you to commit them to heart. Take them with you and live your life according to his wisdom, because I think if we all became even half the parent, spouse, colleague and friend that he was, this world truly would be as beautiful as he always believed it to be."