Thoughts That Occured While I Was High on Subway Exhaust

Happiness is always there. In fact, the entire spectrum of possible emotions is always with us, harbored in memories and future plans and fleeting thoughts and dreams we can't quite remember. We access them by simply dwelling on any given thing passing through us for an extended period of time.

Happiness is our default setting as humans because happiness is married to hope, and hope resides in the most sacred of human spaces, the soul. Unblemished and unreachable by even the strongest of the dark forces of this world, the soul is a constant spring of hope. The purity of the soul allows it to always be aligned to our purpose and our journey through the universe.

Our heart and our mind are a lot louder than the soul. They are more easily reached by dark forces -- sadness and anger and grief and jealousy and insecurity -- and because they are loud, we sometimes can not hear the hope our soul is quietly emitting over their racket. By sheer volume, our heart and mind can bury our happiness with thoughts like "I need more money" and "my eyebrows are too thin and my stomach is too fat" and "this world has gone to shit and there's no solution so we all should just sit around and complain about it until we die." And the longer we listen to our heart and mind, the louder and louder they become. And one day we wake up and feel disconnected, and happiness seems a bit out of reach.

But not to worry! We can always find happiness again. Because if in these moments of disconnect we can stop and get really, really quiet, we'll find that our soul is still there, whispering the truth of the universe to us, constantly and tirelessly pursuing us regardless of how far gone we are or how fruitless its mission seems.

Because that, after all, is what hope does.