I Yam in Denial

I've been in a tizzy about how to address the events of this week. It seems remiss not to comment on the legacy of the great Martin Luther King, Jr. or to add my perspective to the universe on the inauguration of our 45th president this Friday. As someone who considers words one of the most precious currencies, I have felt a lot of responsibility to make sure my voice is out there, and to choose words that bring comfort and clarity to those who come across them.

But it occurs to me now that I am holding myself to an impossible standard. Of course, I don't have words of clarity -- no one does! That's why we are all yelling at each other on the internet. And, if I had to guess, right about now you're probably begging me to PLEASE not shove my words of clarity down your throat because you've had enough of that over the past few months. 

So here's what I will say. On Friday we have a new president. On Saturday there will be people marching across the country in protest. I have people that I love immensely in both camps and that's okay. Every single person has a right to their opinion and every person gets to process things in their own way. My own personal coping mechanism has taken the shape of anonymous comments on the internet that I've written in defense of La La Land's musical numbers. Which is to say I've lost my damn mind. 

Now I won't bore you with my opinions on the talent portrayed in La La Land (yes I will - the singing and dancing are supposed to be more grounded in reality than the musicals of Old Hollywood, which is why there's no blowout dance numbers/solos. I mean c'mon people, the whole movie is about the struggle between preserving the old and embracing the new!), but I wouldn't be me if I didn't throw in my two-cents about something. And while I may not have the words to form the compass we all need this week, I do have just a few things to yell about from my soapbox while we're all here. 

1. I don't know when the rule was made that pumpkin was the official choice of America for orange pie fillings, but I do know it was a grave mistake. Switch your pumpkin pie recipes for sweet potato pie immediately. IMMEDIATELY. I recommend eating a piece right after it comes out of the oven and then another piece the next morning for breakfast. The piece at breakfast will be infinitely better, but there's no point in baking if you can't enjoy it right after it's out of the oven. Here's my mom's recipe.

2. Read Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. Yes, it is almost 1,000 pages but Roberts wrote it while he was in prison for 8 years and he writes with a devotion to detail that only a man who has literally nothing else to do with his time could. It's like a free vacation to India. Also, you will carry the story and its characters in your soul for the rest of your life. 

3. Adopt a cat.

4. Everyone can be a runner. No really, everyone. If you think you're not a runner it's either because you've never tried or you think the only people who can run are people who are naturally good at it. Or you have bad knees. If it's the first two, all you have to do is find some good music and learn to go easy on yourself, the rest will follow. If it's the bad knees, I might have lied when I said everyone can be a runner and maybe try water aerobics instead.  

5. The best case scenario of bangs is very rarely worth risking the worst case scenario of bangs.

So that's it, that's all I have for you this week, people. Go out and be nice to all the angry donkeys and elephants. Or stay in with your pie and your newly adopted cat, that's fine too. Maybe next week we'll all be ready for a blinding white flash of wisdom and insight. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more anonymous comments I need to leave.